Honestly, there were many things coming into South Asia that made me extremely fearful. I was nervous about the darkness, depravity and strongholds. I was terrified about my extensive traveling schedule.
But, I think majority of the fear that consumed me was feelings of inadequacy for my role in South Asia this summer. This summer, I have been doing media over the summer missionaries here in South Asia. My role was to create mobilization and awareness materials from summer students. I desired to utilize my talents in cinematography to capture God's work on film so others can join in the work that the Father is already doing here in South Asia.
Before coming, I understood my role. However, Satan held such prevalent strongholds on me. I have been battling so much insecurity in my walk with the Father. I desperately felt I had to be perfect to earn His acceptance. Honestly, uncertainty crept its way in way too much.
Regarding media, I was fearful of the deadlines and the final "product" that I would have to turn in at the end of the summer. Satan was using the stress of perfection against me. Frankly, editing and media are very hard for me and is not a joyful process. However this summer, God used media to teach me the depths of His love.
I do not think it had ever resonated with me that the Father knows me, He KNOWS me. This summer, in the midst of my struggles with media, He was there. He has always been there. I think, I used to say, "Oh, I am a child of God" but those words were so empty. However, this summer, I am exploring the intimacy that comes with the understanding that the Father knows me and loves me deeply. It has given me such supernatural confidence.
I now understand what it means to be set free in His love! I am a beloved child of the King! I have been blessed this summer by the hardships of media. Although, it was difficult, I would never trade what God taught me this summer. I have learned to utterly rely on the Father and believe that He is sufficient and He is a perfect provider. I have learned how to trust in the promises of the Spirit.
Praise Jesus for leading me away from discouragement and into a life marked by confidence and power in the midst of my weaknesses.
By Rebecca, student at UT Austin. She is serving in South Asia this summer through Go Now Missions.
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